No, no they are not. (Well I might have one. Hmmm...)
Let's talk about support! When the word support comes into my mind I think of two things- bridges and bras. Anyone want to talk about bridges? I didn't think so.
So let's talk about bras! To help with this analogy, I created a graphic! Ok, I lie. I typed up the words and sent them to my super talented graphic designer friend and told her to bill me. Let's rephrase. To help with this illustration, I created the words for a graphic. I like the first version better but whatever.
So here you have it- support in a way we can all understand. (Please note the graphic only goes up to a DD because...well...I just have no idea what is beyond that. Heck I had to research just to get to that point!)
When we sold the house, naturally I told a few people about it. My text went something like this-
"Just wanted to let you know that we sold the house."
And oh my... you would think that I sold a kid or something! The advice that I received was definitely training bra level.
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
"Why did you do that?"
"I think you should think about this."
"God told me to tell you not to do this." (That is my favorite one!)
Funny thing is... I didn't even ask for advice! Apparently my friends and family felt very strongly about a house that they didn't even live in. And my poor kids...bless their hearts.
"Have you thought about the kids?"
"Where are they going to sleep?"
"Kids, y'all are more than welcome to come and live with me."
Ummmm...yeah. My kids are fine. We even had a family meeting before we made any decisions. So yeah.
So all this advice got me thinking about levels of support. Where am I on this scale? Where are my friends? Does my cup size change or is it constant? So I have for you Chamie's Cup Conclusions!
First off, I will address those negative training bra friends- you don't need them. You might keep them around because they make you feel like you have support. But in reality, they are not holding you up. Be free, my friend! Take off the training bra!!!
Now I understand that we cannot have friends that are all DDs. This would only cause tension and jealousy among the friend group. Plus those DDs tend to get on your nerves after a while. Sometimes just one DD friend is too much. You know that friend- the one that at first you are all like-
How thoughtful of you to buy me this Small House magazine!
You didn't have to bring me a white chocolate mocha to school today!
Oh...she remembered my meeting with the designer was today. And showed up! How thoughtful!
Then it turns into-
You text me 30 minutes ago! NOTHING HAS CHANGED!!!
I really just want to pick out dish towels alone!
Why yes, I am capable of choosing my own cable company.
No, I can call Entergy to change my address. Thanks though! (Actually I would let her do this. I hate changing addresses!)
Somewhere there has to be a happy medium between the training bra and the DD- a level that is supportive but not overly so. Where is that level? I strive to be a C-cup. I want to be supportive of my friends, and I usually am, but if I am really honest I have a hard time. I find myself being a solid A/B cup most of the time. (Whether you take the last two sentences literally or figuratively is entirely up to you.) I used to be a training bra a lot of the time, but I have gotten much better at biting my tongue over the past few years. I count it as progress even though I sometimes revert to my training bra days.
Many times, I find myself full of advice waiting for someone to ask for it. It is definitely a struggle for me to be a supportive friend while at the same time being the realistic friend that offers sound advice. So as I move forward, I am trying to find my place in a bigger bra. Actually, it's been a dream of mine for a long time. (I am totally cracking myself up over here.)
I do know that as we make our way through life, we all need training bras at some point and we also all need those DDs. (although not literally for sure!) Find your people! They are the ones that make you better- regardless of their cup size!!!
I am Chamie, wife to Matt; mom to Callan (14), Cooper (11), and