There are some things that you just don't think about when you are considering moving into a tiny house. Like red ribbon week. And the pumpkin decorating contest. And it's only October. Let me just tell you- a tiny house is not made for any of these awesome activities. By awesome I mean for the kids. Because going to Hobby Lobby nine times in one week is not awesome for any parent. And spending insane amounts of money to dress like a minion for one day is not awesome. It's despicable. (Go ahead. Laugh.) So let me just tell you about our week so far.
Late Sunday evening:
Cooper comes into my room. "Oh yeah, mom. It is red ribbon week tomorrow."
"Oh fantastic!" I muttered with as much enthusiasm as I could muster. Knowing Hobby Lobby was closed, I hesitantly asked, "What do you have to wear tomorrow?"
"Red, " he responded.
Phew. Way to go teachers! Red on a Monday. Way to help a momma out!!! Hold up. "Do you still have a red shirt?"
"I have this one from church. Well it is Callan's because mine is too small. And I also have this red Nike arm sleeve. I can wear it, too," he said.
Matt was like, "Cooper. Please don't wear that arm sleeve."
And I was over there like, "Well it is red, honey."
He wore the sleeve. It was about this time I remembered I had two other kids who also had red ribbon week at school. Schools, can we just collaborate to help all the moms out? Can we just all do the same days? No. I guess we can't. Carys is at the same school as Cooper. Yay for another red shirt! I knew she had one with stripes and flowers. It would have to work. Now onto Callan.
"Callan, what is your dress up day tomorrow?" Since she is in junior high, I just knew it was going to be easy.
She excitedly said, "50's Day!"
Face plant. WHY?? But then I thought of something. She is fourteen. So I said, "Well google it and get it figured out!" And you know what? SHE DID!!!!!!! I am a parenting genius. Monday dress up was a success. (Minus the red arm sleeve but whatever- it WAS red.)
You know. It was a normal Monday. I arrived home with plans to take Cooper to buy pumpkins for his pumpkin decorating project at school. Let's pause for a moment and talk about pumpkin contests and my son. It is his last year in elementary. He wants to go out with a bang and while I understand that, I need the schools to establish some pumpkin contest rules. I have suggestions.
1. You may only use one pumpkin.
There. That is it. I mean- I thought I had more suggestions, but it turns out that one would solve all of my issues. So Cooper wanted to do a Harry Potter themed pumpkin creation with all the characters. "Don't forget about the owl, Mom! And then you can make me a castle background." At that point I was like, "Ummm..... no. I am not building a castle." It was then that the word "no" should've left my mouth regarding the entire backdrop idea, but instead these words flowed out. "We will just order a backdrop off Amazon." And we did. Face plant. My forehead is sure to be bruised by week's end. But it is a very nice antique library backdrop that is extremely Harry Potteresque.
So on with the afternoon. I had scheduled a WalMart grocery pick up from 4-5pm. So we went to WalMart to buy pumpkins and then drove around the side to pick up groceries. I must love my kids because I hate going in WalMart. Here is the thing though. Cooper needed FIVE pumpkins. Don't even get me started. At the other stores they are $7-$10 each. At WalMart, they were $3.88. It was a no brainer. So we dove into the many boxes of pumpkins, some rotting, to locate perfectly shaped Harry Potter, Ron, Hermoine, and Snape heads. No worries, we also got one to represent Hedwig and Dobby. I did say no to Dumbledore and Hagrid. Aren't you proud?!?!?
So somewhere in the midst of pulling Harry Potter out of the pumpkin box and driving around to get the groceries Cooper says, "Oh yeah, mom. Tomorrow is minion day."
My head whipped around so fast I almost tumbled into the box of Harry Potter wannabes.
"Excuse me?" I said.
And then Carys. Sweet Carys said something like. "Yes, mom! We get to be minions! And my teacher said we are going to be the cutest minions ever!"
Good gosh. So we carted that sixty pound buggy of heads around Wal Mart looking for yellow shirts. They were fresh out. They did have a minion pajama outfit that Cooper really wanted. Until I said he could buy it with his own money. Then he suggested we go check Hobby Lobby. Uhnhuh. That's what I thought.
So we paid for the pumpkins, loaded them into the car, drove around and let someone else load the groceries into the car (where mysteriously my diet food didn't make it onto my official list- oh well- must be a sign), and then rode over to Hobby Lobby. On the way I uttered the words, "Y'all are killing me and it is only Tuesday."
Cooper responded, "Mom, it's Monday."
Bummer.As the tear slid down my cheek, I lifted my head and forged onward,
I am going to issue a PSA to all of you now. IF YOU NEED A COLORED SHIRT GO NOW! DON"T DELAY! Between red ribbon week and Halloween, colored shirts are in demand. Because of this, Carys ended up with a minion nightgown. Cooper lucked out and got the rightish size, but Carys not so much. Yellow shirts. Check. Blue paint for overalls. Check. (Not really sure when I agreed to let the kids paint the shirts, but somehow that happened.) We were headed out when Cooper asked, "Mom, do we have paintbrushes?"
NO! NO WE DO NOT!!! We don't have anything! We threw it all away! Don't you remember the trash piles?!?!?! All of these thoughts rushed through my head as we turned around to go get a package of sponge brushes. At least we could use them for the pumpkins too.
We went home. It was then that I realized the only place we could paint the shirts was on the dinner table. And we hadn't eaten yet. So I whipped up some spaghetti, cleaned off the table, and then a thought crossed my mind. What do drugs and minions have to do with each other anyway? Look what drugs will do to you, kids! Don't be a minion. But the kids quickly put those thoughts to rest by saying, "Drugs are despicable!" Ahhh. Clever. So we started painting on those minion overalls. For all of about ten minutes. Then we ran out of paint. It was 7:11.
"I need you to go get paint at Hobby Lobby. Hurry! They close at 8. We need a LOT more than this!"
"Let me take a picture of what I need to get," he said. (He is a smart man.)
When Matt got back he said, "Ain't nobody else having these color minion overalls. I bought all they had, baby. You shoulda seen those people fighting over those yellow shirts. The poor Sanches kid had to get a white shirt."
We got those shirts painted though. And they were the cutest minions there ever were.
"So what do you have to dress up like tomorrow, kids?" I asked after I got home late from my hair appointment which just happened to fall during one of the most inconvenient weeks of the school year.
"It is superhero day tomorrow!" Carys and Cooper said.
I am about to put 'em all in a striped shirt with black skinnies and a long cardigan, slap a "Chamie" name tag across their chests, and call it a win.
Or maybe I'll just go to WalMart in a few. See you there!
Disclaimer: I love my kids' teachers and all of the effort they put into promoting a safe, fun, and healthy environment in which my children can thrive. And I will go to Hobby Lobby countless times, paint a bazillion shirts, and load umpteen pumpkins into my cart to see my kids smile and create priceless memories with them. But only for twelve more years after this one. Not that I am counting.
I am Chamie, wife to Matt; mom to Callan (14), Cooper (11), and